Me - after a day of extreme nausea feeling like I might actually just take myself down to the beach and keep walking into the sea -
"God, I'm fed up of feeling like this. I feel awful."
Husband: "I know how you feel."
What? You KNOW how I FEEL? NO, you DON'T. You never will. You might possibly have a flavour of it because I've been a cow bag from hell this past while but you do NOT KNOW HOW I FEEL!!!
And breathe.
Showing posts with label Things not to say to a pregnant woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things not to say to a pregnant woman. Show all posts
Monday, 13 October 2008
Friday, 8 August 2008
Things not to say to a pregnant woman #2
"Do you really want chips? You had chips a few nights ago. You are eating a lot of chips."
His head meet desk.
Me? horrible snottery crying mess for at least half an hour which just made me feel even more sick.
Hormones, ya gotta love 'em.
(And for the record, I had the chips. And didn't throw them back up which I consider a bonus - however today I feel compelled to drink water and eat dry bread in purging mode for daring to have chips twice in the one week.)
Sometimes I wish men could experience the "joys" of pregnancy. (Of course I wish they could experience the joys somewhere far away from me where I wouldn't have to listen to their whinging because trust me, a man would complain some. They would make our complaints seem like happy little songs.)
I'd like to see a man walk around with that permanently hungover feeling for 10 weeks without having had the luxury of drinking first and see how chipper he feels. I'd like him to get up 4 times a night for a pee (yes, even at this stage!) and see if he is a bundle of laughs first thing. I'd like him to find his clothes don't fit and that he feels like the blob. And I'd like him to experience hormonal ranty uncontrollable moments of hysteria which take you by surprise and leave you knocked for six. I'd like him to experience all these while working full time and trying to take care of a house (which is a shit pit... I mean seriously... it's awful) and a four year old with abandonment issues.
AND for the craic he could do all that while trying to launch a book - aware that at the launchy doo dah he is going to look like Bloaty McBloaty of the Bloaty Brigade.
And on top of all that I wish he could experience cervical mucus. Which is a joy.
*And breathe*
His head meet desk.
Me? horrible snottery crying mess for at least half an hour which just made me feel even more sick.
Hormones, ya gotta love 'em.
(And for the record, I had the chips. And didn't throw them back up which I consider a bonus - however today I feel compelled to drink water and eat dry bread in purging mode for daring to have chips twice in the one week.)
Sometimes I wish men could experience the "joys" of pregnancy. (Of course I wish they could experience the joys somewhere far away from me where I wouldn't have to listen to their whinging because trust me, a man would complain some. They would make our complaints seem like happy little songs.)
I'd like to see a man walk around with that permanently hungover feeling for 10 weeks without having had the luxury of drinking first and see how chipper he feels. I'd like him to get up 4 times a night for a pee (yes, even at this stage!) and see if he is a bundle of laughs first thing. I'd like him to find his clothes don't fit and that he feels like the blob. And I'd like him to experience hormonal ranty uncontrollable moments of hysteria which take you by surprise and leave you knocked for six. I'd like him to experience all these while working full time and trying to take care of a house (which is a shit pit... I mean seriously... it's awful) and a four year old with abandonment issues.
AND for the craic he could do all that while trying to launch a book - aware that at the launchy doo dah he is going to look like Bloaty McBloaty of the Bloaty Brigade.
And on top of all that I wish he could experience cervical mucus. Which is a joy.
*And breathe*
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Things not to say to a pregnant woman # 1
"Just concentrate on blooming. It's (morning sickness) all in the mind."
Head meet desk.
Head meet desk.
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