Month 5... Dear Bam Bam...

It's hard not to use your name. We know it now and it suits you - even though we've not seen you. It suits your fiesty, kicky, personality. But as we are trying to keep it quiet, I'll just write this to Bam Bam.
So we know now your a little girl and that in four months time, we'll meet you.
We can't wait.
I had a dream about you - a gorgeous dark haired, blue eyed baby and I fell in love with you.
Get here safe and well and remember we love you.
Mummy
x

Dear Bam Bam - four months down, five to go

And yet once again I'm not sure who fecked up the maths. I'm 18 weeks and three days pregnant and yet only four months... this time five months with God's grace (and if you are not late) I'll be holding you in my arms.
Oh my sweet baby, I can't wait to hold you and to get to know you. I can't wait to breathe you in, to smell your baby smells (the nice ones, obviously), to feel your soft skin against mine, to watch your face form 101 different expressions and to listen to all those delicious new baby noises.
I can't wait to introduce to your rocking big brother and have my two babies together with me, in my arms. I can't wait to have your daddy smile and look proud to get to know you. And boy oh boy, I can't wait til you meet your granny and grandad and, your godparents and guideparents. You are one lucky bambino.
It's hard for me now, even when I feel you wriggle (Joseph kicked at this stage, for the record... you are much more placid already), to imagine you actually in our lives - so I long for the days when you are a tangible entity.
For what it's worth, now I can no longer lie on my stomach. I struggle to bend down to reach my feet and I feel like a weeble although I've not put on any weight in 7 weeks. (You make me sick, you rascal).
My hair is growing at the speed of light, my face is pizza'ed and yet this week several people have said I'm glowing. I think it's in a radioactive way.
I still feel ill, my heartburn is chronic but I know - just know - that you are worth it.
I love you baby Bam Bam.
Mummy
xxx

Dear Bam Bam - seven months to go

I've decided that I'm going to write you a little letter every month, on what would be your due date. You are due on March 10, so it's August 10 now.
I'm 10 weeks pregnant and yet I'm only two months pregnant - go figure. The first lie of the world sweet baby is that pregnancy is not 9 months old. It's more like 10. So you've a long time to be getting comfy in there.
It's hard for me to write this. I'm having difficulty seeing you as a really, really baby just yet. You are so very tiny and we are still in the nasty danger zone. I do not dare to dream that I will actually hold you in my arms at some stage.
Your big brother is very excited though (when he's not asking for a kitten instead - do not take it personally, he means well). He has already promised he will teach you how to go down the slide at the swimming pool and he is looking forward to the day me and you pick him up from school and take him on the bus to the cafe for a bun and juice. (You'll be on milk. Don't hate me for it).
You also have a wonderful big cousin called Abby who is dying to meet you. She's a wee gem. She will treat you like the most amazing baby in the whole world.
Mammy and Daddy, we're excited too little baby. We've thought our family was ready to be expanded for a while and you are so very important to us.
So keep in there. Keep growing and we'll meet you in 6 or 7 months ish.
Mammy
xxx