When you know being preggers is having an impact on your child...

Last night as I put Joseph to bed, he started to gag a little.
He had been at his baby cousin's Christening (or Chrisseling as he insisted on calling it) earlier and had eaten his bodyweight in tuna sandwiches so I put the gagging down to that and that alone.
"Are you okay?" I asked, full of maternal concern.
"Hmmm, I'm fine mammy," he replied, rubbing his tummy. "Bam Bam is just making me a little sick."

Month 5... Dear Bam Bam...

It's hard not to use your name. We know it now and it suits you - even though we've not seen you. It suits your fiesty, kicky, personality. But as we are trying to keep it quiet, I'll just write this to Bam Bam.
So we know now your a little girl and that in four months time, we'll meet you.
We can't wait.
I had a dream about you - a gorgeous dark haired, blue eyed baby and I fell in love with you.
Get here safe and well and remember we love you.
Mummy
x

That tug of love feeling

In about 18 weeks I'll have a new baby.
And boy am I going to miss the one on one time I have with my boy.
For almost five years now we've been a wee team. As a family unit (him, hubby and me) we've worked together quite nicely. But mostly it has been me and J - the dynamic duo - who have done everything together.
I don't go shopping without him. I don't sleep a night in my bed without him. I rarely go to the loo without him. Wherever I am, there he is.
But soon there's going to be another presence in our lives and I'm scared about what it will mean for him and me.
I'm told there will be enough love to share - I hope so. For J's sake and for Bam Bam's sake.
But it's going to be tough.

The saga of the sick...

Yes, almost 22 weeks gone and still being sick. Twice this week and counting, and that's not mentioning the constant nausea.
The first sick incident was over the curry pot hubby left on the worktop overnight. The smell was enough to set me off.
The second was a bolt of out the blue - feeling fine, driving home, oh my God, kind of a moment which was not too pleasant.
Basically I had to hold the sick in my mouth -pray no more was coming - and get parked before I could do what I had to do.
I was quite impressed at my driving while sicking skills however - and it sure beats the projectile on the plane incident of a few weeks back.
So yes, the sick is still there, but I'm coping better.

"And, he's not a boy!"

So we had our scan today. Two weeks ago I would have put money on Bam Bam being a girl, but since I booked my scan I've been having stronger and stronger Boy dreams to the point where I was convinced I was going to see a winky today. I've been referring to baby constantly as "him" as well which I was sure was my body's way of telling me I was having another little man.

But today we had our scan and it seems Bam Bam is more of a Pebbles.

Joseph, N and I are all delighted. N and I even shared a tear. I have to say the £79 we paid to hear this news, and to see our baby projected on a large screen - waving her hand, opening her mouth a lot ("typical woman, always chatting") etc was well worth it. The experience fantastic although it will take me some time to get used to the baby being a she.

I bought some pink, of course I did, but I still keep saying he.

And Joseph is even better. We went to tell my parents and family today. Joseph was hyper as a box of frogs and proceeded to tell everyone how "He (the baby) even kicked his own head" to which they all started to panic that I was going into meltdown.

Then Joseph announced "And guess what, he's not a boy!"

Brilliant way to announce it, if you ask me!

Half way there

Well 20 weeks today, 20 to go.

It's amazing when you think that 20 weeks ago there were two little cells, and not there is something which looks kind of like this (Of course, ignore the genital area, we don't know yet).

It's all amazing.

So, I've ordered a pram

Pretty extravagant considering we have a pram from last time which is in serviceable order (but takes up too much room).

Bam Bam will be ferried about in an Icandy Cherry which as you can see is very, very pretty.

Only problem is that now I'm obsessed with it. I can't wait to push it.

Is it wrong that perhaps just now I'm more excited about the pram than I am the baby?

(Probably because I don't actually have to give birth to the pram... now if they could work out a flat pack service for baby delivery I'd be dancing on the ceiling about both).