A little bit mad

I went a little mad last night - like nutso mad.
I was surfing the net as total writing avoidance and came across a site which said it could determine the sex of your baby from your 12 (or 15 in my case) week scan.
All well and good if you get a good scan picture and not a fuzzy mess like mine, but I digress.
So I spent hours looking for a nub (which is a bump at the bum area which, apparantly if pointed downwards is a girl and if pointed upwards is a boy).
I then went on every site from the Chinese Gender Predictor doodah to FortuneBaby.com (where I am ashamed to say I PAID money to have some quack tell me I'm having a girl based on my date of birth and the husbands... do I feel like a dumbass or what today?).

The thing is, at the end of the day, I don't really care. I kind of care because I'm never doing this again and it would be nice to have a daughter. I have such a wonderful relationship with my mother I feel I would be missing out without having that with a daughter of my own.
But I know how wonderful it is to have a son, and to love him and be enchanted by him each and every day.
So I don't really, really care.

But I'm becoming obsessed.

This worries me for a number of reasons, not least because when I was pregnant with the boy I had antenatal depression which for me fixated on really wanting a girl. There was much gnashing of teeth and wailing and feeling like shite about it all and it was only thanks to the power of prozac that I became excited about having a son.

So I don't want to be obsessed.

Help!